Friday, October 29, 2010

I Hate Goodbyes

So, I've not written on the blog for quite some time...went away because so much changed in such a little amount of time.  Well, one significant change happened and as a result I was unable to bring myself back.

This blog was always written with my sidekick by my side.  We'd go outside, reflect on the garden, smell a flower or two, pull a stalk, sniff, munch and reflect...gaze at each other fondly and make our way around the yard in amazement at all the incredible changes...that is until my sidekick was taken from me a few months ago.

He was my 14 year old baby boy - a rare combination of a rather large breed and a short breed of canine which resulted in the happiest golden haired, golden eyed "love puppy" imaginable - all 123 pounds of him.


Maybe I'll write more some other time but it hurts far too much to think about it as the garden and the blog are simply not the same without him physically being here.

It was the ritual to venture into the garden together, especially since we both loved it so very much and then at the end of the day take note of what heirloom caught my attention.  When it came time to type, there he sat, gazing up at me with love and enthusiasm as if he knew exactly what I was writing.  Sometimes if I wrote during the day, he'd sit beside me in my office and position himself in the middle of the threshold of the door watching the birds and eventually galloping toward the squirrels in an effort to rid their presence from his kingdom.

He loved his yard and really seemed to love and take immense glory in each day and I'm very lucky to have had the opportunity to share this planet with my big 'love puppy'.  To say he's greatly missed is an understatement as I've walked through the house so often and cried hysterically begging  for just one more day.  I'd requested that for a couple of years and was granted that wish until just a few months ago...I, we, were lucky and I was absolutely ever-so-grateful.  But, if given an opportunity...I'd really like just one more day.

Sure as hell ain't easy disconnecting from the ritual but I'm better for having him all those wonderful years.  Never a dull moment and always a smile in his eyes.  If it's absolutely necessary I'll say goodbye but I'd really just like one more day...